Author Topic: Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned  (Read 3251 times)

Retronic

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Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned
« on: December 15, 2022, 07:49:56 AM »
Maybe it's an age think but I'm older (and in the UK where manners were so important when I was growing up), so I have a reaction to what I consider impolite requests.  I don't respond to them.   Call me (unashamedly) old fashioned but there's no way I'm going out of my way unless someone asks respectfully.   I know we live in a instantaneous society where we can get stuff quick but I'd love to see respect coming back in again and hope it isn't lost forever.  This is a nice place but the amount of rude requests over the years has really increased.


I truly recognise we all have different values and I'm not asking people to be like I am it's just if you want something out of me you'll have to ask and not just say 'Anyone got this?'.  I just want to say 'Yes, thanks!'.


So, to be really open it's not a demand from me-I'm in no position to tell adults how to behave but I can say I don't respond to demands in life or on here  ;)


Just my moan of the year- for an old Brit/git, I don't do it very often.


Thanks for reading to the end  :)


John_Fred

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Re: Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2022, 08:41:58 AM »
Agreed.  Common courtesy costs nothing.

In my earlier days, I recall getting caught up in the excitement of having received a title I'd been looking for, (sometimes for ages), and forget to immediately thank those responsible for providing it, but soon learned to be far less impetuous and do the necessary first, before going off to indulge in the newly-acquired treasure!  I'd like to hope this is the case with any newbies of late, rather than them being inconsiderate by choice.

C0NN1E

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Re: Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2022, 09:00:17 AM »
Agreed as well.

Any person providing the rips are important, and some have gone out of their way to obtain certain releases. Its important we thank those folks for going the extra mile and even sharing such content with the forum. Without people like us and them, LMT wouldn't be a community like it is today

Greta

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Re: Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2022, 09:32:53 AM »
I fully agree with everything that have been said here.
I, by nature or instinct, am always inclined to help, respond or share in this case.
Many times I held my nose and responded anyway, even to not exactly nice requests.
I thought "who cares, spreading this music is the goal, others could be happy for what has been shared".
But not even receiving a tank you for something given upon request put a strain on patience and the desire to share with some people. This is my moan of the year (well, one of the two or three of the year...lol).
And I'm learning to simply ignore somebody. Pity, by the way.

Retro you don't look that old, judging by the videos of your live DJ sets! I'm probably quite older than you.
Kidding a bit, just to say that good manners go a long way with me too.

John Fred, was it me calling you back to politeness? Lol!
G.

ChunYinZi

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Re: Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2022, 10:16:18 AM »
This is really a thought-provoking question

The truth is, personally, I'm all about that kind of request, and if it's sincere, I'll usually help.

But if they are unqualified and lacking in manners, I will not respond to them

The fact is, I'm from China, a country with a history of 5,000 years and a very high standard of etiquette from ancient times.

If someone has helped me, I am willing to help them twice as much


Retronic

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Re: Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2022, 10:39:29 AM »
It’s funny how we are so much the construct of our upbringing and culture.  Manners are so important to me and I hope it’s not something that we lose.

C0NN1E

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Re: Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2022, 11:47:31 AM »
Manners are around to stay! I feel with how easy it is to view content nowadays, people acting rude and mean seems as if its way more common now. However, realistically, most people are generally well mannered and nice, and people being rude just gets highly publicized.

I'm thankful everyone here is so friendly and grateful

Fuzi

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Re: Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned
« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2022, 01:06:23 PM »
Thanks for bringing this up

I read most of the posts in this forum, even ones from librarians I don't share a liking for musical taste, just curious about everyones' passion and I love the diversity as it helps me expand my somewhat narrow mind…

I am class of ’73, and true, certain messages can really test my tolerance because I find the language used is rude.

Luckily for me, the ones I look up to are librarians of excellent taste and manners :) but the overall vibe is important.

The goods matter sure, but I don't prefer to hang out in smelly places.
Life with ⓁⓂⓉ is so rich!

Psyclon

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Re: Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned
« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2022, 01:59:08 PM »
I am department manager in a hyper market and I outright "overlook" customers just yelling through the aisles or just show their phone in my face with a picture of a pixelated image of a Tabasco bottle. Form a sentence, say hello and goodbye, then we can talk. It is my daily routine that I often say "Good morning first" and then continue with the customer's demand and it often makes them realize how poor their human interaction is. Just yesterday I had some grump lady going "hello.hello?hello?!!" within like 2 seconds and I asked why she'd yell like this and if she'd address staff instead of randomly yelling, she'd get better service. Another thing is that we stopped handing snacks ("things on a toothpick") despite we are actually supposed to by company rules, but after seeing people grabbing five or six and then tossing the toothpicks into the shelves and others requesting - not asking! - that we prepare freebies made us stop. I will be blunt, but my 15 years in retail and 5.5 years as manager, I turn more and more into a cynic misantrophist. . .

But in general, you mentioned that you are British and manners mattered. I will tell you the truth, but this is my almost life-long experience: Many folks, especially macho folks (Arab countries and Kosovo) have their boys taught to be demanding and loud. We have many Ukrainian refugees, they are equally demanding and unbearable, demand in their langauge (I have Ukrainian workmates so I know what they say) and are generally loud and make a fuzz if nothing goes their way. The old German ways of humbly asking is gone since these folks get more population and they raise their kids the same they've been raised... Since I am 11 I observed this in my school with lots of migrants, it was a real culture shock from the ~95% German suburb I came from. Being threatened with violence if you didn't share your chocolate was a common thing. Go figure how people behave now, especially in times of trash media like Facebook, Reddit and Twitter...

The other thing is gratitude. I have it that way: If you have something I'd like to have, I am the one demanding. And I am absolutely on the mercy so to speak if you actually do what I request. That means I am being polite and glad that someone else spend their time to get me something I'd never get without the other person - ChunYinZi comes to my mind; we had dozens of PMs and it felt so good to have nice conversations and learn about each other. And now, 94% of my library is High Quality thanks to him. It is amazing what a nice journey it was. I am sure if it'd just grung "GIMME DAT" I would not be that lucky.

I've donated $10 to Retromatic in one of the albums as another, non-verbal but monetary form of gratitutde.

I am born 1990, so I am still kind of tangent of the next generation and their overall attitude, but I can't. I have nice trousers, Olymp shirts and wear a jabot (yes, and I love it!) And then you see people in smelly jogging sweaters that can't even form one single sentence and devolve into grunt language. This is overall also blending into this forum, more or less.

EDIT: Oh, I see what you mean by that! Well, the two members that might be addressed.. I think both are very young. In fact, one is 14 years if I remember correctly and the Polynesia fan has a revealing "Location" line... Heh, I must say it made me smile how you taught some manners.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2022, 02:29:36 PM by Psyclon »

Greta

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Re: Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned
« Reply #9 on: December 15, 2022, 03:32:38 PM »
Oh, I see what you mean by that! Well, the two members that might be addressed.. I think both are very young.

It's not only about two people Psyclon. This is a bad habit by more and more users lately.


Not to mention the hundreds of leechers chiming in only to request something they have missed, without ever bothering to give a thanks for all they've grabbed up to that moment.
Pixeldrain windows showing 2-3 hundreds of downloads should be familiar to quite a few here, isn't it?
-moan over-


And just out of curioisty: what you mean your collection now is 94% in Hi-Q? Cause I read in your signature you collect MP3, and it sounds odd ..
« Last Edit: December 15, 2022, 03:44:48 PM by Greta »
G.

tonyc1971

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Re: Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned
« Reply #10 on: December 15, 2022, 04:39:30 PM »
Thanks for this post. It’s been niggling at me for a while which is why I posted something last year with a like or thanks icon. That way, those that don’t want to comment don’t have too and can simply put a tick in to say thanks or that they appreciate the link / post.

I fully understand members should comment and continue to promote that within the forum. However, as you say some members could come across as rude or demanding, often not thanking the other member that has taken the time to reply, rip the album or obtain it elsewhere or share the request from a previous member rip and happy to provide a new link to keep it within the LMT community.  Also one or two members constantly asking for updates on their request or post a new request.

Again, it’s an age thing and I’m 100% in agreement with Retro’s original post.  I’m 51 and think
I’m polite generally. I have to deal with other staff, contractors, senior management and stakeholders in my role and had customer services rammed down my throat for years.  Let’s hope we see an improvement. That said, you are right, those members not asking in a polite manner will often get ignored. 

bardwell64

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Re: Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned
« Reply #11 on: December 16, 2022, 10:33:59 AM »
Hello everyone, I've just found this discussion today and I find it interesting. I am hoping that none of my requests sounded demanding in the way you describe. I tend not to write very long messages and maybe that makes them sound a bit blunt... however I always say thank you to anyone who responds.

On the subject of providing material, I don't presently have accounts with Mega, Pixeldrain, etc, so I have sometimes responded by PMing the requesters with a dropbox link to the CD in question. I never want to post my dropbox links on a publically viewable page due to risks of hacking etc... but I always let people know that anything I have dropboxed to them can be shared with any and every LMT user who wants them. A lot of the time I just jump into discussions with pieces of information or to answer a question if I can. I can't often provide material to others because most of what I now have is thanks to LMT! I also like to think that when I request an upload, it will be of benefit to all other members as well as myself, especially as it will be something that hasn't been shared on the site previously.

Just my small contribution.  8]

Craig-UK

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Re: Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned
« Reply #12 on: December 16, 2022, 01:02:07 PM »
I totally agree with everyone here. I do not provide a lot of content, I should provide more but I hate seeing people request with no manners and then when you do post again no "thanks". They take 20 seconds to request a further 5 mins to download, then we spend 30 mins (plus much more for vinyls, plus money) to upload and yet they cannot take 10 seconds to just reply with "thank you".

It would be great if extra features could be added to this forum but I know it is kind enough of the owner to #1 pay for the domain name, #2 pay for the server, #3 maintain and administrate the place. Very much appreciated.

Hopefully, over time people will see that they will get a better response if they take a tiny bit of time to show their appreciation.

MusicMuzak

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Re: Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned
« Reply #13 on: December 31, 2022, 03:19:10 AM »
I totally agree with everyone here. I do not provide a lot of content, I should provide more but I hate seeing people request with no manners and then when you do post again no "thanks". They take 20 seconds to request a further 5 mins to download, then we spend 30 mins (plus much more for vinyls, plus money) to upload and yet they cannot take 10 seconds to just reply with "thank you".

It would be great if extra features could be added to this forum but I know it is kind enough of the owner to #1 pay for the domain name, #2 pay for the server, #3 maintain and administrate the place. Very much appreciated.

Hopefully, over time people will see that they will get a better response if they take a tiny bit of time to show their appreciation.

I recently uploaded 3 Christmas albums for people's enjoyment. Despite the amount of downloads only 3 or so people bothered to thank me. Especially for Christmas albums that symbolise a special time of the year. A thank you does not go astray and every single person that's helped me on a forum I always take the timebto thank. It's the least people should do.  It's how I was raised.

geo

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Re: Making Requests on the forum......call me ole fashioned
« Reply #14 on: December 31, 2022, 03:18:06 PM »
I agree, there seem to be waves of shockingly boorish requests coming through lately. I don't recall this normally being the case.

and I'm not just seeing petulant, thankless demands, but also perfunctory asks for large swaths of very rare or expensive records. bit of a turnoff.
just this week I myself asked for the entire supermarket series. trust me, I feel dirty.

cheers to a more civil 2023!!

:)
geo








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geo